Thursday, November 26, 2009

Message to College Admission Consultants: Know Your Audience!

For the love of Pete! Here's an e-mail I just sent to an "expert college admission consultant."

Dear Friends at Vernon, Schmidt and Peters,

Thank you for your letters regarding college admission consulting for our 17 year old daughter, Mackenzie. I have received two such letters over the past few months. However, please remove me from your list since Mackenzie suffers from a disorder called tuberous sclerosis complex, and is moderately mentally retarded. I'm sure you didn't know this, so there is no offense taken. However, it does hurt just a tiny bit every time I receive one of your letters.

You can keep us on the list for our other children, though, who will soon be 13 and 10, respectively. I'm sure that whatever database that supplied you with Mackenzie's name will supply you with theirs as well. Thank you!


Who needs college anyway, when you have a crush on a cutie named Cole?!

New Moon: More Than Just a Vampire Flick

Pondering the other night: Driving to Houston in pouring rain on Houston Freeway: stressful. Parking at a mall loaded with holiday shoppers: maddening. Cost of tickets and concessions: outrageous. Listening to an entire theater of girls scream and ad lib every time Edward or Jacob came on screen: priceless.

It's a memory I'll cherish forever!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Inflatable Workout Shoes, Anyone?

So here I am on a business trip in tiny Port Barre, Louisiana, and for grins I take a photo of this product at the local Walgreen's and post it to my Facebook Page. Before I can say TACKY BLANKET, voila! I get numerous responses from FB buddies--we're talking girlfriends to in-laws to a big, burly guy--saying how they have one and they love it. What gives? I used to look at the original infomercials for the Snuggie with highbrow disdain, assuming they'd never catch on. But here I am, sitting in a damp Louisiana Holiday Inn that smells like a combination of cigarette smoke and air freshener, and there the Snuggie inventor is, most likely sipping Pina Coladas on a beach in Tahiti.

This just reminds me of all the times I've seen something I wish I had created on my own, thinking damn, if only I did that!

For example, the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff book series. Good Lord, just imagine sitting down at your desk with a scratch pad, scribbling all the things we shouldn't take too seriously. But the author did it, and now we have Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for moms, dads, teens, pre-teens and whatnot. I'm waiting for one to come out for my dogs. They should stop worrying about passing cars, construction workers and the ankles of assorted visitors.

Then there's the Chicken Soup books. This especially peeves me because I'm the queen of sappy sentimentality. Everyone who knows me knows this, having winced at the occasional one-off e-mails I tearfully send reminding them of good times, first kisses, pet funerals and who knows what else. And again, we now have a Chicken Soup book for every need. I refuse to read them.

And then there's the Snuggie. Enough said.

So today I am making a pledge: I will think harder about books and products I can bring to market to enhance the lives of others while making me stinking rich.

For starters, the inflatable workout shoe. How many times have business travelers packed big, bulky workout shoes in their suitcases, using much-needed space with the hope of exercising once they get to their point of destination? And if you're like me, half the time you don't work out anyway so you took up all that space for nothing. Grrrrr. My response to this "pain point" (cool marketing term meaning where there is pain, there is a marketing opportunity) is a shoe that folds flat in your suitcase and can be blown up if you actually want to work out. I've been yakking about this since my corporate training-related travels of 1998, but have yet to make it real. Anyone want to join me? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

If not, then post your entrepreneurial ideas and let's see if we can team together and make them happen! Of course, don't post anything you're truly serious about, in the case your idea will be lifted and you sue me since I came up with the posting concept in the first place. That would bite.

Ideas, anyone? I'm waiting! In the meantime, I'll be packing my things to get out of this damp hotel room and embark upon my drive home, to Houston. Dare me to stop by the Walgreen's and buy a Snuggie? Hmmmmm.....