Mackenzie's first seizure occurred when she turned one--the day after her first MMR vaccine. At first blush, one could say the vaccine caused that seizure as well as those that followed and eventually, her developmental delays. The fact of the matter is the MMR vaccine may (may being the operative word here) have set in motion one presenting symptom of something we did not yet know: Mackenzie had a chromosomal disorder called tuberous sclerosis complex.
In those dark, early days, I agonized over what I did or didn't do to cause this devastating situation...was it the glass of wine I had before I knew I was pregnant, was it the hair dye that offered those reddish highlights, was it some sin or hateful act for which God was cursing the greatest joy in my life? In due course I let myself off the hook because I finally accepted the fact that TSC is a medical disorder occuring at conception.
Over the past 20+ years since then we have met other special needs parents who have not been "fortunate" enough to receive a medical diagnosis, so they search in vain for answers explaining their child's developmental delays. Often labeled with a nebulous thing called PDD (pervasive development disorder), their kids lag behind their peers for reasons unknown. An autism diagnosis is no better, because its causes are still mainly theoretical. Hence the questioning and inner turmoil continue...what did I do to cause this?
Vulnerability fueled by grief is a powerful thing. I once ordered special herbal supplements from California and mixed them into Mackenzie's food because a mother told me it would aid with speech, and oh, how I wanted my toddler to talk. Another time I considered mercury testing because I read that mercury in the bloodstream could cause seizures. I won't even mention the potions, products or foods I considered back in the day. Heartbroken parents will do just about anything, it seems, to raise that veil of darkness for just a little bit of light.
Then an actor uses the stage of national media to air her own experiences leading to the faulty hypothesis that vaccinations are the villain--immunizations are the response to the timeless, infernal question of "Why?" Finally, the grieving have their answer; perhaps not a firm one but by God, they'll take it. At the same time, those with healthy children allow fear and the lull of celebrity to trump common sense until finally, entire movements exchange proven science for limited theory until harm is done. Harm we are seeing in our headlines today.
Vaccinations have saved millions of lives and there is no scientific data firmly linking them to disease. It is a civic duty, not just a personal choice, to vaccinate our healthy children so young babies, the elderly and those with medical conditions--like Mackenzie, who could no longer receive vaccinations after her diagnosis--do not succumb to the horrors of earlier centuries. Politicians suggesting immunization of children is a personal choice are either idiots or so absorbed in their own careers they have forsaken reality for the purpose of political gain. And celebrities who prattle on while millions of vulnerable or otherwise easily persuaded parents watch, and believe, them are utterly irresponsible.
Bottom line: Bad things happen to good people, even innocent children, and they often happen without a reason or any discernible purpose. In the end, Mackenzie's MMR vaccination didn't cause her TSC any more than it caused her to love art, animals and cartoons. Vaccinations didn't cause our second child to be a national merit scholar nor our third to be a singer. But because of responsible parents who have immunized their children, vaccinations have afforded all of my kids a life and a future without polio, measles, typhoid, tuberculosis, whooping cough, rubella or who knows what else I am forgetting because I am lucky not to know of them in my lifetime.
That is, unless the arrogance and ignorance associated with our nation's anti-vaxxing movement brings us a century backwards. For us all, I pray this will never come to be.
