Forget Super Woman. I'd Like Some Sanity.

“Where’s my laptop? My PowerPoint slides? My stuff?!!,” I croaked yesterday morning, as I helplessly watched conference goers file into the room, ready and enthused to hear me speak about social media. Yes, a digital marketing presentation without the benefit of colorful slides, photos or online demonstrations to make the information pop. Just little ‘ol me, myself and I.

I glared at the empty podium as though it would grow arms and hand me a laptop, but alas, it was not to be. So I silently cursed myself. After 25 years in the communications industry, it’s the most basic of rules: Before giving a speech, make absolutely certain you have checked out the room and that all equipment is working. But I had been too busy to check out the room at the Omni Hotel, and too focused on client work and family tasks to see a tiny e-mail floating between hundreds of others sent
the day before. A little note from the Texas Business Alliance’s One Woman Conference organizers informing their speakers that plans had changed; “Please bring your laptop after all,” it said.

I turned and faced the audience, secretly thanking God for my knowledge of the subject matter, love of public speaking, and more than anything, my lifelong ability to use self-deprecating humor when in a bind. After an hour, attendees were laughing, shaking my hand and thanking me for the talk. Whew, that was a close call.

Which got me to thinking: Why the insanity? I’m Type A, as evidenced early in life. “No one can clap erasers and participate in spelling bees at the same time,” wrote Sister Irmita on my fourth grade report card. I admit I've always prided myself on juggling as much or more than others. I even dressed as Super Woman for a Halloween party a few years ago. My energy has always defined me, but with the advent of home, hearth and a consulting business, things have gone a tad awry.

This may be why I rammed my car into a bank pole the other day—another first. I was minding my own business, simply racing at record speed from lunch with a friend to a client meeting while thinking about the kids’ summer camp, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel while stuck in traffic on a congested road under construction. I succumbed to line rage (yes, I have line rage) and took the first shot at a parking lot to get around the traffic. I found out all too soon, though, that I was stranded at a bank which was cornered on every side by ripped-out streets. So I tried to turn the vehicle around, only to get completely stuck in one of the now-abandoned drive-through lanes. I sat in my Volvo SUV, all alone other than the girl in the bank window who counted money with glazed eyes. Fuming at myself as well as the glazed girl who didn't feel compelled to guide me from behind the window, I shifted gears from forward to backward, over and over. Drive-reverse-drive-reverse-drive-reverse. Ugh! I gunned it over the median to straighten out the car. Who knew there was a pole on the left, hiding and just waiting to tear out a chunk of metal? I posted the event on Facebook, much to the guffaws of friends who wrote about incidents of yesteryear, going back to the 80s. Talk about kicking me while I’m down. Well, $1,500 in car repairs later, I won’t be cutting through abandoned parking lots anymore.

I know I’m not alone. With the juggling act of work and life coupled with digital media making us available 24/7, these things can happen. And as covered at yesterday’s One Woman Conference, ladies are still taking on the lion’s share of child rearing activities. What to do? Well, don’t come to me for advice. But there are a few things I’m considering before mistakenly leaving one of the kids at the mall or forgetting a speaking engagement altogether.

Breathe. Upon hearing of my recurring stomach pains (long story and a little gross) my doctor prescribed Yoga. Yoga! Who has the time to stretch? But I succumbed to her demands and just signed up for a class. My 12-year-old is taking it with me so we can have some mother/daughter time. I suppose that’s another way of clapping erasers while participating in spelling bees, but I’m looking forward to it.
Prioritize. Last time I looked, there are only 24 hours per day. Include sleep, eating, exercise and a few other necessities and there are only about 12 – 14 hours to manage home and work activities. There are hundreds of courses by endless consultants on how to do everything from writing personal mission statements to using large and tiny rocks as a metaphor for prioritization. I’m shooting for simplicity. I will take a good chunk of time redefining top priorities for my family, life, and business. After that, I will spend 30 minutes every morning and base the day’s activities on the aforementioned priorities. When surprises occur, I will apply the breathing activities learned at aforementioned Yoga.
Don’t question yourself. I dislike disappointing people, but one of the joys of being over 40 is that I’m caring less and less. For example, I left a recent awards dinner about a half hour early to be with a sick child, only to be lambasted by a woman who caught me tip-toeing out with my goodie-bag in hand. I wasn’t on the planning committee but she simply felt that given my role in the organization, I should stay to the bitter end. I decided, shame on me, that she could cram her awards. Consider another situation...many, actually...in which I was criticized by some well-meaning church friends for choosing to work outside the home. Their comments made me question myself for years, but no more! If I didn’t work then I wouldn’t have my consulting business now, and I love what I do (as long as I’m not so busy I’m ramming my car into stationery objects). Sometimes we forget that we can’t do it all. No one is Super Woman, or Super Man. This is when we should breathe, prioritize, and participate in activities based on goals and values that only we can fully understand. Most of all, we shouldn't question ourselves.
Find someone who “gets it.” I have an eclectic taste in friends—if I put them all in a room they wouldn’t know what to say to each other—but there’s nothing like a friend or colleague who really walks in your shoes. Social media like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter can make it easy to find a group of people who do what you do and feel the way you feel. I rarely reach out to others for advice, most likely since I’m short on time and just a little proud, but I may consider it now and then. We can always learn something new from someone else.

And, if none of these things work, there are life coaches and other professionals to help us get the most out of life. At yesterday’s Texas Business Alliance event, there were hundreds of professionals who have to remind themselves to breathe, prioritize, avoid questioning themselves and find common experiences with others.

As for me, I think I'll get to Yoga. That is, after I'm done burning my Super Woman cape.