1. Lines
2. Crowds
3. Excessive
heat
4. Lines,
crowds and excessive heat all at one time (never been to Disney World for a
reason)
5. Body
odor
6. Whiners
7. Liars
8. Sitting
next to airplane yakkers
9. Middle
seats on airplanes
10. Stuck
in middle seats on airplanes between whiners or yakkers with body odor
11. Fat
men in speedos
12. Fat
men in speedos who flirt with me
13. Constipation
14. Computer
problems
15. IT
help desk people I cannot understand
16. IT
help desk people who cannot understand ME
17. Circular
phone menus (like, where the hell is a human?)
18. Injustice
19. Bourbon
20. Whiskey
21. Hemorrhoids
22. Eye
rolling
23. When
people say you’ll love a dish, then you try it and you hate it and they’re
looking at you, like, “Do you love it?”
24. People
who don’t RSVP
25. Automatic
flushing toilets
26. Automatic
faucets
27. When
people arrive too early for a party and you’re not ready
28. Trying
to tie a scarf
29. No-shows
30. Facebook
posts imploring people to “cut and paste to your own page”
31. Facebook
game invitations (I don’t want to play your stupid games)
32. When women use those tissue toilet covers and then just leave them there. You think I want to sit on your tissue, you freaks?
33. Traffic
34. When
people say I look sick but I’m not sick at all, so I wonder why I look so bad
35. Dental
fillings
36. Dental
drills
37. Dental
anything
38. Dentists
39. Loneliness
40. Bullies
41. Food
stuck in my teeth
42. When
noone tells me there’s food stuck in my teeth so I wonder how long I’ve gone
around like that
43. Disrespect
44. Sharing
a bed with anyone besides husband, kids or pets
45. Jalapeños
46. Poor grammar
46. Poor grammar
47. Big, fat know-it-alls
48. Feeling
de-valued
49. Tedium
50. Pantylines
51. People
who belittle someone’s dreams
52. Finding
moldy food in kids’ rooms
53. Smell
of cat pee
54. People
who pass gas in elevators and step off, so that newcomers on elevator think I
did it
55. Opportunists
56. Work
politics
57. Corporate
buzz words so spectacular that linked together they make a whole new language
58. Unmade
beds
59. When
people inadvertently spit on me while talking
60. People
who don’t respond to emails or phone calls (just give me a damn answer, thank you
very much)
61. It’s
when it should be its and your when it should be you’re
62. Speed
bumps
63. Justin
Bieber
64. Getting
lost
65. Racism
66. Homophobes
67. People
who turn their house lights off on Halloween
68. Laziness
69. Flight
delays due to nothing in general
70. Chanel
No. 5
71. Weak
handshakes
72. Wobbly
restaurant tables
73. Weird
celebrity baby names
74. Drunk
driving
75. When
men don’t aim directly into the toilet
76. Indirect
answers to direct questions (just give me a damn answer, thank you very much)
77. Passive
aggressiveness
78. Chewing
gum with mouth open
79. Regret
80. People
who tell me to “rein it in” because I’m too happy, bubbly, chatty or otherwise
not conforming to their idea of proper behavior (I say, kiss my arse)
81. People
who assume I’m shallow because I’m too happy, bubbly, chatty or otherwise not conforming
to their idea of proper behavior (Kiss it again)
82. People
who assume I’m stupid because I’m too happy, bubbly, chatty or otherwise not
conforming to their idea of proper behavior (Kiss it three times)
83. Overdone
plastic molded packaging that causes me to cut my finger when prying open a
cheap toy
84. Hypocrisy
85. Spammers
86. When
someone says they don’t want dessert so you order your own and then they start
eating yours
87. Walking
into spider webs
88. Arguing
about politics
89. People
who are mean to servers at restaurants
90. Wet
toilet paper
91. Self-righteousness
92. Peeling
off wet bathing suit to go to bathroom and then toilet seat is wet too
93. How
squirrels look in the rear view mirror after you run over them (oops)
94. Jerks
who take up two parking spaces
95. People
who insult my integrity
96. Slow
pokes in left lane
97. Runaway
shopping carts
98. Seeing
young kids at R-rated movies
99. Chasing
after a ping pong ball
100.
Fingernail clipping in public
101.
Tip-stiffers
102.
Restaurant tables next to noisy kitchen or
restrooms
103.
When people hurt my kids
104.
Cliques
105.
Four slow-walkers at a mall positioned such that
you can’t get by
106.
Four slow-walkers on a sidewalk positioned such
that you can’t get by
107.
When people call and don’t leave a message. What
did they want?
108.
People who don’t celebrate the good in others
109.
Lipstick that goes through cracks around lips
and runs up face
110.
Unsolicited advice
111.
Walking into a room and forgetting why
112.
Child abuse
113.
Animal abuse
114.
Poverty
115.
War
116.
Disease
117.
Violence
118.
Watching a loved one die
119.
Watching my child suffer
120.
Watching anyone suffer
121.
Tuberous sclerosis complex
122.
And finally, bird poop.
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